Beyonce and the art of blowing wind into the microphone

Beyonce getting the 'Oh my God, I'm so constipated' look while singing (Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons).

 She said all the right things; wore only the right clothes; was seen only in the right crowds (in entertainment and in politics) and mouthed her lines well. There was Beyonce everywhere – clothes, perfumes, baby pictures, strange names for babies…

But looks like the US national anthem didn’t meet her high standards.

In one of the reports, while Beyonce was busy claiming/swearing that she did indeed sing the song, her former bandmate sincerely defended her syncing. She said that Whitney Houston did it too.

Wow.

Meanwhile, finally watched the ‘singing’ too. Even real singers wouldn’t have flapped their arms and waved so much. Was that the reason why folks in the background in this picture were finding it hard to stifle their smiles – they couldn’t stand her excessive flap-flap and mic-hamming?

If the weather wasn’t good for your throat, it would have been just as bad for your skin. You could have just stayed at home, Beyonce. We would have been perfectly happy with the recording.

Then, there was the series of statements from the Marine Band and its officials.

First it was Master Sgt. Kristin duBois, a spokeswoman for the US Marine Band, who said that the singer had decided at the last minute to use the voice track she had recorded the previous evening. That proves Beyonce’s claims that she did practice the night before.

Then, Marine Corps spokesman Capt. Gregory Wolf said that the band didn’t play live and didn’t know if Beyonce sang live or if the voice was from the tape. This was confirmed by another spokesman, a higher-ranking officer of the Marine Band.

Hey, it’s about time we launched a movement to give Milli Vanilli their Grammy back. The song was nice. It sounds nice even after all these years.